It's this beautiful realisation that all of my 'friends' would have lives of increased quality if I in fact seized to exist

What the actual fuck that is not okay

I haven't been home on a Saturday for over two months this is so weird what's going on

it's just so stupid and not even important and i'm so upset and frustrated and it just really hurts and i'm so scared because i can't handle anything and i hate that and i hate not knowing and i always thought i was really lucky because it was really certain for us but now all of a sudden it's not and i'm frightened and i don't like it and

I don't know normally I love Valentines day and things but this time I just feel really sad about how I can't keep anything together and don't know what I"m doing and I'm really confused and I don't want to have to go to work and I don't want to go to school and I hate everyone and everything and all my recent bad decisions.

today was such a stupid day

i hate myself a little bit and everyone else too