ALSO, on a high note

My dad said yes to Ecuador so I'm pretty sure I'm going YEAH

Hello Hi Hello

http://headfirstslideintopete.tumblr.com/
I re-made my tumblr because I don't think things through and I"m irrational and yeah.
Now I've lost my old poems but like whatever who even cares

Um I'm at my dad's and I had a really nice time last night except for some things but it was fun, and today should be really great because I love Connor BUT I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO

+ I'm pretty sure I won't be coming to school tomorrow

Here are the things that just happened

Connor said it's too late to get me into the social
Laura sent me a mean text
Camille said she won't be in biology


I have got to learn that saying/thinking things like 'stuff is getting better' is an awful jinx and a dose of false fucking hope

Washing dishes all the time makes my hands dry and yeah bye

Today was beyond.

I just had the worst day ever yeah ! Everything was shit and people everywhere aremean and I want things to be nice again but yeah whatever.
The only good things were my dnm with rev after class, understanding everything in Maths and obviously after school which was pretty nice
And then on the bus Craig Dempster literally forced me to eat 7 mint slices and I felt so sick welpp
Well now I'm at work and I hate everything again
Things may get better because Lillies coming over and I'm going to completethe Biology work by some fluke and Connor just invited me to a Yarra social soyeah that might be fun.
THIS WEEKEND IS GOING TO BE FUCKJNG GREAT
media crew, Geelong, Jack's gig, shopping with CJ bearrr and just just rocking out generally.

I hate work
Bye

SOME PEOPLE

A) MAKE ME REALLY ANGRY
B) NEED TO SHUT UP

I'm watching friends and I have a tummy ache

Today I felt sad and then sad and then happy and then sad and then happy!

I definitely did not go to English last period. I was anticipating David Payne to be all annoying and things as per usual but it was really fun and I love hot chips and yay that was good. Then I got to see things I didn't want to see after school and then I got to catch the bus with Laura and eat Nandos chocolate mousse !

Also I managed to change my work shifts around even though it involved a terrifying phone conversation with Matthew but lol Idon'tevencare because he's in year nine and I'm great.

Also I'm going to copy and paste the lil religious fic thing that I wrote for Camille because I fully intend on turning it into a story okay yeah.

'Ryan sighed at Brendon. "We can't do this here." He didn't take his eyes of him as his fingers found the organ keys below. Brendon let a single 'why' escape his lips as he stood entranced by Ryan loosening his clerical collar and striking a low and penetrating chord into the chapel. He closed his eyes. "I have friends in holy places."'

From now on all my personal thoughts will be recorded here:

http://sexyhamdance.blogspot.com/

Also, on a high note

My bosses think I'm 'clever'
I have really lovely friends who are so extraordinary to put up with my shit
Today my brother turned to me when we were on a walk and was like 'We're bonding'
Adam is possibly the most perfect person in the world mhm

That made me feel nice
I'm going to get some sleep maybe

No no no no no

This is going to seem fully bipolar but I can't do this
I can't let myself get this awful

Tomorrow is going to be alright and I don't even care that I have P.E or double Lit because I'm going to be nice to people and maybe I'll eat alright and maybe I'll go and scream at student services because they've deprived me of appointments for months 'accidentally'. Maybe I'll go to sleep now and wake up not feeling as ugly as I do now. Optimism!

Good night all.
I'm sorry again.

I need lots of hugs now please

I thought I was doing so well aoegubjnlaegjakn what the fuck is this

I just hate myself
Plain and fucking simple
I try not to and everything but it's underneath everything

And I think to myself that I hate other people
But I know I don't
I just hate myself

This is so disgusting. Someone please help me. I just want a fucking hug. What the fuck.
I go to the mirror to tell myself nice things about me but then I'm like I'm such an ugly crier and my thighs are so huge
And It's like what have I done to get like this
I feel so sad. Someone please hug me it's all I want.

I'm so so so sorry for anyone reading this. I always post these things and it's so fucking selfish of me.
Just
I'm so sorry
Don't bother anymore or something

Problem solved

Stole some whiskey, replaced it with water. I feel like this is a win for me

Now back to French work!

Hi hello

I had all these lovely things to say about how happy I was but then my mum had to go lay down this new rule where I have to hand my phone in every night at 9:30 and I know I can't use the home phone because now she's going to be checking the bill and I'm so fucking angry. I don't understand how I can get no praise for good exam results, a good report or babysitting my brother but when she sees that I made a fucking call in the middle of the night, she goes fucking crazy. What the fuck is this. Today I've spent my time doing homework and paying for my brother's lunch why is she so weird. I'm really fucking over my lack of privacy and her lack of
trust. Only two and a half more years and I can get the fuck out.

What the actual fuck

Everything is weird and fucked up tonight

But in other news, today at Adam's was really great
He's so cute I can't bear it

Maybe I should live there
Okay

Connor is going away for three weeks

And the family friends that are in my house at the moment are the biggest brats and need to get the fuck away from me when I'm watching tv

But I get to eat Chicken tonight