Also as a sidenote,

For some reason I get really scared when I think about skydiving again. I want to do it so badly though aoufnlsfjkgnsfgkjnsfjgs but scary.

My pen is a penis, when I write, the ink is sperm

Alex is referring me to hip hop that I genuinely enjoy.


Okay so today I was like yeah I kind of can't be fucked with anything
So I went home early and ran next door where Michael made me a delicious burger.
And then I watched tv and talked to Adam
And then I slept really deeply for 3 full hours and then I woke up and felt fantastic
And now I'm sitting up in bed

I just finished writing Adam a letter
And Alex is making me laugh a lot
And I think I'm going to make a video blog soon
Mm I love Panic! At The Disco

Soon it is time for sleep maybe
Who even knows
I'm just floating around




OH HEY ALSO ALO IS FUNNY and funny things happened yeah

No you know what

I am so angry at Student Services
I am so fucking angry. I want my fucking appointments that were fucking taken from me
I want my fucking house to get itself into fucking order
Going this long without talking to anyone is way too hard for me and I can't take it I can't I can't
I don't want to go somewhere out of school because then it takes up time which would stress me out so much more and I just don't want the only thing that comes to mind when I'm crying to be 'Someone help me' because I should be able to get some fucking help.


It's like those people who are so sad that they can't reach out and ask for help from people
I'm fucking reaching but it's not fucking there

So

Hockey was better than anticipated! I like Camille and Ryan and Goldy

Some things really annoy me a lot
Like being brought down
Or being a third wheel
Or year twelve Xavier boys

But hey
Adam is lovely and I'm warm right now and we're watching movies in Business and Media classes and tomorrow there's no Assembly so um I guess all is okay.

I'm not really
Sad, as such. It's more like I'm just kind of down. And in a state of perfect acceptance of this. Mm.

And hey I'm trying this brand new thing where I'm nice to people
This will be fun

Good morning one, good morning all

The time has come for me to totally fluke my Religion exam! Yee-haw

I'm so
Tired
Bye

I'm going to surprise Adam on Thursday
I'll be all like
Omg my mum sux I can't see you this week :((
And then on Thursday he'll get back from his int studies exam
And I'll be all like
hey.

All was golden in the sky

oafjlnsrijnks crying so much because I'm seeing Panic! in September and I've been waiting so long and I can't take this and oh my God I'm going to seen Brendon in person what is life I am so happy and so just generally overwhelmed someone hold me I'm so excited sogjklnsfsjkn

Oh. Well.

Today was so strange
I stayed in bed until one and refused to get out because I was warm and was busy making tumblr friends yeeeow
And then after that I got up and watched 'You, again' which was surprisingly entertaining but then again I love rom coms yep okay that was anticipated.

Then came the huge emotional breakdown accompanying my guilt over various things
And I just felt generally sad
But then Adam said nice things
And we conspired
And I was all like
DAD CAN I GO TO ADAM'S? and he was like K
So I ate a delicious dinner of delicious pasta and chips and stuff

And then I broke a bowl and a plate
And
Then

Dad drove me on over to the Clarkson residence and everything was perfect for three hours
And then my father arrived
And now I am
At
Home
And my dad is watching The Suite Life On Deck and I'm confused

Good bye now friends

The events of today

I can't be bothered re-typing things so I'm just going to copy what I sent Adam

Well we were studying in the quad
And Gracie, Jason and I decided to go do like
Quiet last minute study
So we went to the table behind the art rooms
And instead of doing business,
We sung songs from High School Musical and danced on the tables
Anyway
I then went on to
Fail my exam
Or I presume I did
Everyone else was like IT WAS SO EASY
And I was like
Um.
And then we missed our bus so we had to
Take a train and then a bus
Which took us on like a loop around melbourne before getting to Doncaster
And then we had to walk down the road to The Pancake Parlour
And Tom raced me
And Gracie
And it was awesome
Oh in the meantime, I had to cancel my Zumba class thing which made Tash mad
Anyway
We got in and ordered
And ate $160 worth of amazing pancakes and milkshakes and we all just
Died
And it was so fun
And we like made a toast to Mrs Dennehy
And it was one of the loveliest things I've ever experienced
And then afterwards Gracie was taking me home and her mum was delayed so we went to Shoppo
And into Dangerfield
And I bought a shirt with Gerard Way on it
And made friends with the guy at the counter
And the girl assistant
Which made me happy
Andnow
I am
At home.

Good Night – Rogers


A Ringo song. Play this in front of your lady friend and BANG there's your formula for success. But only because Ringo wrote it. Rogers = man crush



Oh Henry Guala you are one of my favourite humans

Going on a terrible adventure!

I've only been listening to Rick Astley for like half an hour and I don't really want to pack my bag because I can't decided if my green headband matches my green jacket and it's making me confused and sad.

Hey here's an idea:
Let's not go to Adelaide on the weekend before exams
lol ok

Every time something awful happened today I was like hey I'm just going to ignore this and feel good but then something else happened and I hate all this blog complaining but at the same time I like just need to write it down so yeah um here it goes here's a list of shit things that happened to me.

Lol actually I change my mind. I just wrote the list and now I'm like yeahum I can't be fucked and this is ridiculous
I'm like
Unintentionally attention-seeking


And what the fuck how did Denni find my tumblr I'm so pissed and I can't even vent about it on tumblr because she has my tumblr and what the fuck is she even doing there it's so private and she says things and I'm so angry and I don't want to do anything and I just want to scream at everyone to fucking help me because I want help and I'm so tired and I love Adam and that's the only nice thing and what the fuck I can't do anything right what the actual fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

My eyes hurt

It's like this temporary anxiety where I can't actually focus on anything, but stress about everything
It's like this constant throbbing in my head where I can't pinpoint what I should actually do

I am going to speak to Mrs Mcafferty tomorrow morning because I know I've missed at least two appointments with Sally and y'know that kind of shits me. I actually kind of really need her right now.

It's strangely beautiful, these emotions showing
I feel raw and real for the first time in a while

It's like I know that underneath the sad, I'm actually happy. So I'm not really sad at all.

Panic! At The Disco

It was only today that the realisation sunk in that I will be seeing Panic! live in four months. I can't actually express into words how excited I am; this is what I've been looking forward to for the six sweet years that Patd have been in my life. Bandom like this is such a strange thing. It's where like 4 times in the last week I have cried because I just love them so much and their music means that much to me. I just think about all the significant moments in my life that I've used Panic! At The Disco to calm me down, pump me up, make me feel better or just feel totally nice and calm and lovely. There are so many memories that I can attach to every word of every line of every song and I just feel so overwhelmed with how much of my life they take up, it's so totally bizarre. I think about how much I love Panic and Bdon and Spence and Ian and Dallon and Ryan and Jon. I even love Brent just a little bit. Uh kind of. The point is, they are my absolute favourite band and will always mean so so so very much to me. I'm going to die at Sw Revolution, I'm going to fangirl the fuck out and fall over and sob and cry and just lose my shit in general.

Yeah lol that's it.

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