I felt fucking pathetic all day
Today was one of the worst

I feel sick and tired and so over everything

And so
Fucking alone

No, you're the loveliest!

This weekend predominantly, was nice! Bike fitness was strangely enjoyable because the weather was pleasant and Rachael and I sung songs from Repo. Also, I am definitely getting better at actually riding ! Everybody shout hooray!

Then it got awful for a bit during the house auction but, from a selfless point of view, I suppose selling the house was  a positive. Ugh.

My uncle's party was enjoyable! Teagan and I were semi-reclusive for a while, but that's alright because we watched Hairspray and talked about Ke$ha.
Then when we went out, I experienced the most fun I'd ever had dancing. I know I've said it so many times in the last few days, but I really do adore my family's parties.

Sunday house chapel I had anticipated to be awful,  but really it was fine. It was more than fine actually because we got to see Tash and that makes me really happy. We also saw Goldy being cute with his family. No biggie.

THE FIRST TIME I WROTE THAT, INSTEAD OF 'his family' IT SAID 'guacamole' SO IT WAS LIKE
'Goldy being cute with guacamole' 
And I laughed really hard.

Uh anyway, I went to my dad's house and we all ate surprisingly pleasant pizza hut and watched 'Bill and Ted's'
You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Oh and then fun times at Camille's house were in order! That was so excellently nice and relaxing I cannot express it into words. There was Paprika everywhere and we spent an hour and a half doing sleep related activities. I also did my maths which was nice. 

Last night skyping Frani, I put her through the semi-hell that was looking through just about every photo of my childhood. I was so incredibly impressed with myself, however it also brought me to ponder over why I even have friends.

Afterwards, I brushed my teeth in my room because I was scared of the ghost in the bathroom mirror. What of it?

I ended up having some really nice conversations with multiple people last night, and then one confronting one. 

My mother walked in at about midnight which was sufficiently awkward because she pulled the whole 'Is your computer in your bed?' thing and I had to blatantly lie when it was so clear that it was. Oh well, this morning she seemed to have forgotten about it.

Right now I look ugly and feel tired and have pain in my mouth because of these fucking train tracks and I want to go up the back to sit with Rachael and co. but I'm frightened. Yeah.

And so that's pretty much the end. I'm sorry if you read all of that expecting a nice story or some kind of moral when really, I was just relaying a mundane weekend. Oh well. You can bite me. Or I could say something more aggressive sounding. Good bye!

The auction has begun.

I am just freak freak freaking out

Blah blah, blah blah blah

Firstly, https://www.careylink.com.au/_layouts/eDirectory/GetPhoto.aspx?ID=225770

Secondly, all is well in the Dowling household.
Oh wait no I forgot, it's not the Dowling household for much longer.
In 27 minutes, some leech will suck up the house that contains my childhood.

Hooray for everything.

Also, I've decided to lose a lot of weight before the end of the year.
There you go.

Hi guys!

I feel so incredibly unhappy. Just constantly.
A bit of bby Ke$h helped me but yeah not for long really.

Thinking about you makes me want to stay inside and sleep all day.

Desperate housewives is starting bye

I love:

Henri with the 'i'
Jakob with the 'k'
Christofer with the 'f'
Alix with the 'i'
Taelor with the 'e'

Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain you beautiful man

Work was so tiring like wow. I washed so many dishes...and believe you me I did it like a boss.
And then I bought a mars bar in batter for my mum, brother and self to share because I'm a great person and I was hungry.
Now I'm just dwelling in my own happiness because I'm not going to school tomorrow and writing this blog that is seemingly amount to hit a dead end.
Night, all.

La da da da da dum da da

Bike Fitness was tiring but fun!
Camille's hair is beautiful!
Boys are difficult!
..However my media project went well!
Photos are all edited!
It's 12:45!
Time for sleep!

ME TOO! I CAN MAKE LISTS TOO!

This weekend is:
Bike Fitness (or not?)
English speech
Maths
French
Business
Media project
Frani's media project
Work
Take other nice photos
Be generally relaxed and awesome

The end.

Follow: http://zoegodiva.blogspot.com/

Intricate ideas and stuff

Dearest Blogger,

I am so sorry that I now only post morbid, whiny, pathetic posts but you see it's just kind of how I'm feeling at the moment. I just.... There's so many things that have amounted to this overwhelming sadness. Today when I started crying-no, bawling, it was like this huge realisation of how very much it hurts. I thought I didn't know why it was happening and that's what I said but I suppose I do.
I know I don't have depression, I'm not sick. I just get really tired of everything quickly. I'm just so stressed. This whole...everything is just hard. It's hard.

I'm going to make a deliberate effort to feel/be better. I'm going to go home and complete my work and everything I have to do. Then I'm going to have an unnaturally large cup of tea and watch the crap out of Desperate Housewives. I'm going to be alright, most definitely alright.

Giant Spider's Rolling

Miss Dennehey is the devil
Joelle is so pretty it hurts
Seb can fuck off from my mind
Camile and Frani are funny and stuff
Bike Fitness is for losers
Art Tour isn't going to happen
French trip might.
My life has no excitement
I have no drive

I also hate who I am.


Bye now.

Listening to 'Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Shirt Off'

And remembering why P!atD are my favourite band. Yeah cool today is going to be shit. Bye.

Ground Control to Major Tom

What a terrible day full of terrible stuff. I dislike everything, yay!

Time for sleep very, very soon.

Don't feel like doing any of this, no I don't.

I just got up at 5 to write french paragraphs about my family and friends.

You're jealous of me? I can certainly see why. Well all you have to do is lean in and I'll tell you the secret to being like me
be ridiculously unhappy and generally dissatisfied with life.

Yesterday was so awful. So many things went badly and it makes me a little bit frustrated that it all occurred on one of my favourite calendar days.

Spontaneous Subway was fun but otherwise,

I swear to god yesterday was trying to kill me.

Oh my goodness I'm so confused as to what to do about everything.

That sentence was mildly non-sensical.

It's 6:02 and I was meant to start getting ready 30 minutes ago.

Bye blogger. Next time I see you I will have completed a school day in which I will either be incredibly miserable or act entirely fine. I don't know which one yet.

Also if Camille checks this during the day,

Hi Camille Ham. I hope you feel a lot better this morning and I hope you know I'm insanely jealous of you. Cool. Also wish me luck for house. I LOVE YOU just a bit n' stuff.

I feel sick

I have no idea what to do except cry and hate myself.
I am so sorry, I didn't realise
I am so sorry
I don't know what to do
I am so sorry

Frani's dad is here!

The Baudelaire Bears

This weekend was alright! I think I just managed to build up unrealistic expectations, which is never positive.

Bike Fitness was awful and the cause for a substantial amount of self-hatred. It was also the place for a very sad realisation about the lack of sleep I get.

Seeing Tash was really rockin'. I do love that girl so very much, and it was so humourous. Even a little visit from Mrs. Parsons didn't break my spirits.

Alex Kinsella's house was fun as per usual. I made lovely friends at Maccas and felt incredibly relaxed and nice.

Frani's at night was average.
Oh I'm totally kidding! Fun with Grace and the Boys is always guarenteedeo
...Oh god I just wrote that. There's something wrong here.

Anyway, last night was really quite sensational. Frani, Camille and Paprika make me inexplicably happy and calm and happy!

Except this morning turned sad when I realised I hate myself. Whoopa!

When I got home, I was clearly more tired than anticipated because I fell into an accidental nap. And then I had that terribly sensation when you've slept for a few hours and you have a funny taste in your mouth and you feel like death and the time doesn't make sense. It was frightening and I did not like it.

WORK HOWEVER, was fun. I fully washed dishes! In case you're confused, that is something to get excited about.
And yeah things are alright.

Except this fucking media project which is driving me absolutely insane. Like....to insanity. Crazy. Insane. Not good.

Henry is most likely retarded in the head.

This blog post is badly written and things. NIGHT Y'ALL

This day started off terribly

But I like how I did my hair

I need to pee. So fucking badly.

Bloody orange juice.... And diet coke. Gosh I'm stupid.

But any way yeah, this blog has no point. I'm just trying to distract myself.
Speed bumps oh god no!

Hurry up, bus.
This could be potentially very, very bad.

God damn I love my brother

I feel so bad for him. My heart....actually aches. It's awful.

It was really extrodinarily hard to be in a good mood today. Everything went wrong and multiple people decided to be irritating and oh gee it was difficult.

I did buy some orange juice though, so it's not that bad.

Time for sleeping...and also attempting to lucid-dream

Good Night

Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head

Today I am going to be extrodinarily happy and polite. I've current got a bit of a Beatles marathon going on here at the bus stop, making use of Camille's headphones. I'll do my maths on the bus and once again, be able to withhold my outstanding record of successfully completed work!

I think I might buy some orange juice later.
Mm juice.

Adieu!

A Streetcar Named Desire

I'm embarrassed by my perspiration
Oh goodness I could watch this a hundred times.

Blanche is so lovely and admirable. Well I think so anyway

Oh old movies are so romantic. And I don't mean in regards to love and actual romance. I'm talking about the language and the characters and the general tragic nature; Romantic

I just...
I just sound so pretentious constantly.
But you know, I don't mind. Because tonight I feel happy. I feel alright !

As a conversationalist, you make my dreams

Making new friends!

Today was quite nice ! Business was incredibly funny because Gracie is hilarious and stuff.
And the school was school for a while but then I got to reaquaint myself with a friend and become even better friends with someone else.
PE was humourous but then what do you expect when given a game of ultimate vortex?

New friends are nice and new and nice!
'I'll be the one looking hot'
'I'll be the one looking not'

Oh I was also thinking,
I wish our school let us pick our PE teams like they do on movies because I'm thinking about my stories in the future.
Its so much nicer to say 'in high school, I was always picked last' and use that symbolism as apposed to being forced to come out and say 'I had no friends.'

Tired ramblings intended to be read in a southern drawl

1. Alex makes me laugh and stuff, even when insulting the Church of Wombats
2. French is an entirely difficult language. Needless to say, I bombed out on the test
3. I miss Anton!
4. Alessandra Roder in maths is the most amusing thing I've ever personally experienced. "Everyone sit down" "NUP"
5. Diet coke is nice
6. I'm so tired
7. I love things
8. I'm sad
9. The recorder is a beautiful instrument
10. I'm so fucking tired
11. My eyes are closing
12. asdgdkjngs

Also, I just realised my bus is running extraordinarily late. Fucking awesome.

Can't wait to change buses

If it wasn't for Denni, I don't know what I'd do..

Oh good goodness my morning is terrible already. This is going to be a truly interesting day!

anton conos

*a whole lot of keyboard mashing*

damn this is sad.


group skype was so amusing though, on the brighter side!

I don't care what they say, The Parent Trap is in my top 10

Yesterday was incredibly shit!
Not the gathering specifically, I just woke up feeling awful and then spent the rest of the day that way. Fun times with Grace and the Boys did lighten my mood significantly but it was short-lived because then later that night all this sadness came back and I felt so terrible and so pathetic and ugh. It was so shit.

The night got humourous later on however, with dnms with Izy and Alex.
Actually it was more just Izy and I laughing about Alex's terrible phrasing.

*Discussing Meredith from The Parent Trap*
Grace: She is hot though..!
Alex: Yeah but her personality ruins it
Alex: ...Like Barbara from bank world

Grace: WHAT? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHAHA

Alex: No I mean I saw a photo of her in the paper and she looked friendly but then as Barbara she is the devil.

Grace and Izy: *ignores alex* YOU THINK BARBARA FROM BANK WORLD IS HOT

and then I laughed for like twenty minutes.



Also at Camille's I made an awesome call but I am not going to post it because that would be vain and not nice
so I'll just wait for someone else to do it.
*looks pointedly at frani*


Now I have to go eat, do my homework, study for french and get my life back on fucking track

peace!

*p.s. henry is nice for late night conversation

Just a couple of sidenotes!

Work gets more amusing when playing I spy or trying to to test people by leaving 5 cent coins on the ground.

The white stripes made my day sad.

This week has kind of caught up with me.

Work was lovely

School was nice

I just want to sleep now

Even though for the first time, I haven't done my homework.

Oh god I'm going to hell now

Have You Ever Seen The Rain - The Ramones