désolé

idk things are great but sometimes not and i'm sick of people babying me and offering opinions on things that are not their business and/or decisions
life here is so much easier

c'est coolax

today i rode on the back of a motorcycle! i'm counting so far about 4 major Nacel rules that I've broken but as Charlotte would say 'pas grave'

france is so lovely and i was really worried about getting along with charlotte but i shouldn't have been because she's perfect and i actually love her and laegjknagjaeg and her friends are so lovely. at the gath the other night i felt a bit weird but today with antoine, thibault and marianne it was really nice and the the motorbike thing literally made my life and yeah. Antoine is the nicest person in the world /probably.

sometimes i miss everyone very much but i'm only gone for a month and i like to think about at school when a teacher gives us a task that's due in a month and the time goes really quickly. not that i want to miss a second of france but i miss my lovely family and my lovely friends. i have to get back to watching glee online

and crying because i'm leaving for paris tomorrow and i'm so excited

xoxo gossip fille

fuck this fuck you all
i'm so fucking upset
i keep saying it but it hasn't sunk in
i have so much to do and i'm literally incapable of doing it all there's just way too much


i'm going to take off all of my clothes and go to sleep

what a stupid, stupid predicament

i'm in love with the wrong person ha ha HA this is funny and not at all fucked up

u dnt no dat ur btiful

omg ok i just put on a face mask and i'm at that point where it's stinging so intensely but it's like i have mixed feelings because i'm in so much pain but at the same time i know that it's all the impurities leaving my pores and cleansing my skin and yep

i don't know, man, life is moving too quickly. i mean i catch up with school work and stuff but then the time is moving too quickly and i just fall behind again. the same is happening with relationships and friendships i mean i'm just running out of time. this reminds me: tomorrow is one month until i go to france. that is intense. i'm actually getting really excited but so insanely nervous like the idea of relying on my school knowledge to communicate with these people is so daunting ugh

exams and things are also kind of worrying i guess because i'm kind of trying not to think about them which is pretty much the opposite of what i should do but at the same time i'm pretty content.


my faCE IS STINGING

this whole decision making thing is driving me slightly mental and once again i'm placed in that standstill of confusion in which i am forced to evaluate and review small aspects of my life to create a cumulative overview and therefore the basis to construct sensible decisions and choices.

i took the face stuff off and now i have invisible pores and soft skin yep


idk man

i'm going to bed
i need to start writing in my diary again

just talked to matt guala

sometimes i wonder how life can be so beautiful!


I don't know - I had an actual nice today today because even though things were messed up and I have fallen behind in every possible aspect, everything today went right and it was beautiful and glorious and yes I enjoyed living for a day thank you everyone watch me take a bow

wait no i'll finish this later

Oh wow yes okay well I am fucking stupid
I mean I had a really good time last night but the point is, I need to stop continually embarrassing myself !

I didn't even want to drink much last night
But then Ant was going to ask Lucy out and I wanted them to both be sober so I drank what they had which I now realise was not actually too smart.

Well that was
Interesting
I suppose.

see okay yhtis is what happened

i didn't want to drink tonight i justwanted to feel nice
but then ant wanted to ask lucy out
so i stomped lucy's cigarette out becausen inknow antionio hates it and so people were pissed but then they were ok
and then elena threw up in a basin
and then to make both ant and lucy sober, i drank all the shit they had
and then i got fuuuuckkkfed and hooked uo with stupid simmo and his teeth were like all over the [place and i was like wtffff!!!!!!! bro you are so bad but then apparently caroline hooked up with him just to correct him

anyway point is i wanted t hiiook up with aydin but i think he only likes me as a friend that's what he told nina i don't evenlike him i just wanted him tonight whooops no wi have to go i'm texting maddi taylor

for anyone experiencing this post, I'm really sorry because I'm trying my best to be coherent fuck drunk blogging is the stuoiidest


That was irnoic

holy joseph

I'm totally going to Sam and Marni's this is a strange twist of fate!!!

holy joseph

I'm totally going to Sam and Marni's this is a strange twist of fate!!!

Maybe possibly

I'm going to start blogging properly again because all of my recent posts have been like singular lines of random shit and yeah I'm going to post less text posts on tumblr, and actually post things here ! It will be nice and probably be bothersome to you all but I do not care one bit ha ha ha

i can't wait to just move out and learn about everything
and become a teacher
and finally become a teacher

sometimes i hate bandom and think it's silly

so beautiful

I feel kind of funny and strange and weird but that's okay because I should stop talking about myself now

it's only 9:16pm and I'm really annoyed and restless and dissatisfied and sad that's all.

tim nic srash will someone ops have to mrememberr!!!!!!

tim nic srash will someone ops have to mrememberr!!!!!!

everything to do with fucking adam seems so fucking stupid and petty and i'm like what ejht ecifuck i jsut want it to be over what the FUCK josegk s i can't ehandle this this is so stupid why do i feel so angry my uncle was so great and he didn't fucking deserve thisno one in my family fuc,ing descerves this why does everything have to be bad all the time i'nd sick of askikgn for confolences from everyolnd i can't keep askikgn them to support me and everyone is so fucking nice and it's not fair to them ikb d on't desreve it what the fuck this is such a fucking mess

Look in summary,
Today was just the worst worst worst and bad things just kept happening but you know that's ok i'll just let everything get shit until they can't get any shitter and then maybe they'll start to look up

jappy sick

tonight was o exactly what i needed. henry and i showed up and wandered and ran into ed and wen't back to his house and admired his cd's and things and then we went onto zander's and it was really chill and then suddenly people left but the SUDDENLY people arrived and it was totally different and cool tjings went down and i met tess talor and talked to her and me and gabbi bonded and i shared pom pom with laura mayers and then who remembers when laura and cam hooked up multiple times i do i remember

good ngith i'm going to throw up

ooh so Adam isn't coming tomorrow that's really interesting.

I don't know if I should be relieved or sad that he hasn't seen anyone these holidays.
It's kind of like okay he's got something going on where he's hiding in his house however in the most selfish way possible you'd think he'd make some sort of effort to even talk to his girlfriend OH WELL monday then.

oooh the one boy i thought was so utterly unique turned out to be very much not so


every time i feel all emotional and upset and things i want to break up but then later i feel silly for feeling that way

but now i'm coming to realise that it's probably enough grounds for the conversation that i'm even feeling that way in the first place about him or because of him.

i find it hard to comprehend that he can be totally oblivious to how sad he has made me

it's just dreadful how much this is my fault, though. i'm an insecure mess and i don't know what i'm doing ever and i can't remember why he'd even like me ugh. it's my fault also because i thought he was so incredibly perfect and wonderful so when he stopped being total perfection i was just so easily hurt

i don't know why he's doing this. if he wants to say something or break up or anything like that i just cannot figure out why he hasn't just done it already. the only thing i've gotten out of him is that he thinks it's uncool when i act weird like this and that i should relax. the funny thing is that when he said that, it really hurt, but i tried to attempt this state of 'relaxation' but it turns out it's pretty difficult to achieve when you're constantly paranoid and anxious about the state of your relationship with your boyfriend who's gone MIA from your life.

i want him to come and and tell me what's on his mind but at the same time inside i know that the most probable thing that's going on is that he's not hiding something big or avoiding breaking up with me, but in reality he's just avoiding me because he finds me annoying and conversation with me tedious. and he really just doesn't care.

and i'm pretty sure it's both natural and okay for that realisation to make me feel dreadful.

i'm going to go to bed now and hopefully maybe one day soon something will be resolved.

last night

was the best night of my life it was just so good i can't believe we finally saw them I can't BELIEVE IT

fucking adam fuck

today was so nice and finding anna was coincidental and splendorous and jordan is so lovely and everyone is great and yep!
i'm so excited for tomorrow but i'm really nervous and i don't know what will happen and look at me it's 1am and i'm tired and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm not even using capitals whoops i'm so crazy i just watched gossip girl and two episodes of glee i'm flying high like a kite ok i'm going to put zeppelin on in my headphones and have beautiful dreams good bye

do you reckon gnarles barkley got nicknamed 'gnarley' as a child?

I dodge the blast, and apologize for collateral damage.

I want to stay in bed and eat my delicious cookies and just freak out quietly about tomorrow.
Maybe I"ll go into the city
Or maybe I"ll see Connor tonight
I don't really know or mind.

I think I feel happy about yesterday. Actually scratch that, I feel anxious about what's going to happen in the near future. But that's alright I think


I'm on reserve battery good bye

i'm pretty sure he doesn't even fucking care

i fucking love maroon five

i made a pie someone appreciate me

It's the very last period of the very last day of Term 3 and I am so immensely excited for the holidays. I'm going to lovely Vanuatu and Counter Revolution but most importantly/significantly there will be no school and I'm really excited and I'm going to sleep all day and see all of my wonderful friends oh yes

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

I wasn't born so much as I fell out
Nobody seemed to notice me
We had a hedge back home in the suburbs
Over which I never could see

update-a-roo

my life sucks

two more lovely minutes and then I'm giving up and going to bed to read a book
ooh whatever is going to happen?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

a sour and unwelcome dose of the anxiety virus

Panic attacks on sunday afternoons float my boat !


Look see camp was really great and I had a whole heap of fun and I love Laura and Hugh and my life was changed ok yep I can't really be bothered elaborating

But the point is now that I'm home, things have returned to their comfortably horrible state. Last night was really fun however certain things made me really uneasy and so impossibly confused and I hate it and I have a headache. Why does Adam refuse to check his phone always why why why

There is so much on my mind right now it's a bit weird

Like also
Why am I watching this Russel Brand movie that I don't want to be watching?


Ugh I hate everything
And I don't want to go to work tonight
Because I don't like it
Anyway
Um
Good bye now

this time two years ago richard was on enviro camp and i was sad aw

PANIC ARE COMING?

IMMEDIATELY CRY

I love Tim Curwood!

This week was so exhausting
Tomorrow I have to:
Clean the bathroom
Go on a public transport related journey

And during the weekend I have to complete
A lit oral
A writing folio
A biology essay
A french ghost story

lyk wat

I just

Can't do anything anymore and I feel so sad why does no one care maybe it's because I say these things too often idk I really need help and I know other people are sad but I'm sad too and I don't mind being sad with other people as long as someone helps me okay please i'm begging

I asked Sam how she got my new tumblr and she said that she had my old one and saw the link

I'm pretty sure I used to write stuff about her ops

why the fuck does this keep happening

Look I'm sorry but remaking my tumblr was actually my way of starting over and I was happy because it also meant some people wouldn't have it. So um why is it that Sam fucking Lewins and KATIE FUCKING OWLES HAVE MY TUMBLR

Katie is one thing. Like I don't want her seeing my shit. But Sam ! What if I say personal things? Fucking hell. My email isn't even like a listing thing. How the actual fuck did they even find me?

I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING RE-MAKING AGAIN

ALSO, on a high note

My dad said yes to Ecuador so I'm pretty sure I'm going YEAH

Hello Hi Hello

http://headfirstslideintopete.tumblr.com/
I re-made my tumblr because I don't think things through and I"m irrational and yeah.
Now I've lost my old poems but like whatever who even cares

Um I'm at my dad's and I had a really nice time last night except for some things but it was fun, and today should be really great because I love Connor BUT I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO

+ I'm pretty sure I won't be coming to school tomorrow

Here are the things that just happened

Connor said it's too late to get me into the social
Laura sent me a mean text
Camille said she won't be in biology


I have got to learn that saying/thinking things like 'stuff is getting better' is an awful jinx and a dose of false fucking hope

Washing dishes all the time makes my hands dry and yeah bye

Today was beyond.

I just had the worst day ever yeah ! Everything was shit and people everywhere aremean and I want things to be nice again but yeah whatever.
The only good things were my dnm with rev after class, understanding everything in Maths and obviously after school which was pretty nice
And then on the bus Craig Dempster literally forced me to eat 7 mint slices and I felt so sick welpp
Well now I'm at work and I hate everything again
Things may get better because Lillies coming over and I'm going to completethe Biology work by some fluke and Connor just invited me to a Yarra social soyeah that might be fun.
THIS WEEKEND IS GOING TO BE FUCKJNG GREAT
media crew, Geelong, Jack's gig, shopping with CJ bearrr and just just rocking out generally.

I hate work
Bye

SOME PEOPLE

A) MAKE ME REALLY ANGRY
B) NEED TO SHUT UP

I'm watching friends and I have a tummy ache

Today I felt sad and then sad and then happy and then sad and then happy!

I definitely did not go to English last period. I was anticipating David Payne to be all annoying and things as per usual but it was really fun and I love hot chips and yay that was good. Then I got to see things I didn't want to see after school and then I got to catch the bus with Laura and eat Nandos chocolate mousse !

Also I managed to change my work shifts around even though it involved a terrifying phone conversation with Matthew but lol Idon'tevencare because he's in year nine and I'm great.

Also I'm going to copy and paste the lil religious fic thing that I wrote for Camille because I fully intend on turning it into a story okay yeah.

'Ryan sighed at Brendon. "We can't do this here." He didn't take his eyes of him as his fingers found the organ keys below. Brendon let a single 'why' escape his lips as he stood entranced by Ryan loosening his clerical collar and striking a low and penetrating chord into the chapel. He closed his eyes. "I have friends in holy places."'

From now on all my personal thoughts will be recorded here:

http://sexyhamdance.blogspot.com/

Also, on a high note

My bosses think I'm 'clever'
I have really lovely friends who are so extraordinary to put up with my shit
Today my brother turned to me when we were on a walk and was like 'We're bonding'
Adam is possibly the most perfect person in the world mhm

That made me feel nice
I'm going to get some sleep maybe

No no no no no

This is going to seem fully bipolar but I can't do this
I can't let myself get this awful

Tomorrow is going to be alright and I don't even care that I have P.E or double Lit because I'm going to be nice to people and maybe I'll eat alright and maybe I'll go and scream at student services because they've deprived me of appointments for months 'accidentally'. Maybe I'll go to sleep now and wake up not feeling as ugly as I do now. Optimism!

Good night all.
I'm sorry again.

I need lots of hugs now please

I thought I was doing so well aoegubjnlaegjakn what the fuck is this

I just hate myself
Plain and fucking simple
I try not to and everything but it's underneath everything

And I think to myself that I hate other people
But I know I don't
I just hate myself

This is so disgusting. Someone please help me. I just want a fucking hug. What the fuck.
I go to the mirror to tell myself nice things about me but then I'm like I'm such an ugly crier and my thighs are so huge
And It's like what have I done to get like this
I feel so sad. Someone please hug me it's all I want.

I'm so so so sorry for anyone reading this. I always post these things and it's so fucking selfish of me.
Just
I'm so sorry
Don't bother anymore or something

Problem solved

Stole some whiskey, replaced it with water. I feel like this is a win for me

Now back to French work!

Hi hello

I had all these lovely things to say about how happy I was but then my mum had to go lay down this new rule where I have to hand my phone in every night at 9:30 and I know I can't use the home phone because now she's going to be checking the bill and I'm so fucking angry. I don't understand how I can get no praise for good exam results, a good report or babysitting my brother but when she sees that I made a fucking call in the middle of the night, she goes fucking crazy. What the fuck is this. Today I've spent my time doing homework and paying for my brother's lunch why is she so weird. I'm really fucking over my lack of privacy and her lack of
trust. Only two and a half more years and I can get the fuck out.

What the actual fuck

Everything is weird and fucked up tonight

But in other news, today at Adam's was really great
He's so cute I can't bear it

Maybe I should live there
Okay

Connor is going away for three weeks

And the family friends that are in my house at the moment are the biggest brats and need to get the fuck away from me when I'm watching tv

But I get to eat Chicken tonight

Also as a sidenote,

For some reason I get really scared when I think about skydiving again. I want to do it so badly though aoufnlsfjkgnsfgkjnsfjgs but scary.

My pen is a penis, when I write, the ink is sperm

Alex is referring me to hip hop that I genuinely enjoy.


Okay so today I was like yeah I kind of can't be fucked with anything
So I went home early and ran next door where Michael made me a delicious burger.
And then I watched tv and talked to Adam
And then I slept really deeply for 3 full hours and then I woke up and felt fantastic
And now I'm sitting up in bed

I just finished writing Adam a letter
And Alex is making me laugh a lot
And I think I'm going to make a video blog soon
Mm I love Panic! At The Disco

Soon it is time for sleep maybe
Who even knows
I'm just floating around




OH HEY ALSO ALO IS FUNNY and funny things happened yeah

No you know what

I am so angry at Student Services
I am so fucking angry. I want my fucking appointments that were fucking taken from me
I want my fucking house to get itself into fucking order
Going this long without talking to anyone is way too hard for me and I can't take it I can't I can't
I don't want to go somewhere out of school because then it takes up time which would stress me out so much more and I just don't want the only thing that comes to mind when I'm crying to be 'Someone help me' because I should be able to get some fucking help.


It's like those people who are so sad that they can't reach out and ask for help from people
I'm fucking reaching but it's not fucking there

So

Hockey was better than anticipated! I like Camille and Ryan and Goldy

Some things really annoy me a lot
Like being brought down
Or being a third wheel
Or year twelve Xavier boys

But hey
Adam is lovely and I'm warm right now and we're watching movies in Business and Media classes and tomorrow there's no Assembly so um I guess all is okay.

I'm not really
Sad, as such. It's more like I'm just kind of down. And in a state of perfect acceptance of this. Mm.

And hey I'm trying this brand new thing where I'm nice to people
This will be fun

Good morning one, good morning all

The time has come for me to totally fluke my Religion exam! Yee-haw

I'm so
Tired
Bye

I'm going to surprise Adam on Thursday
I'll be all like
Omg my mum sux I can't see you this week :((
And then on Thursday he'll get back from his int studies exam
And I'll be all like
hey.

All was golden in the sky

oafjlnsrijnks crying so much because I'm seeing Panic! in September and I've been waiting so long and I can't take this and oh my God I'm going to seen Brendon in person what is life I am so happy and so just generally overwhelmed someone hold me I'm so excited sogjklnsfsjkn

Oh. Well.

Today was so strange
I stayed in bed until one and refused to get out because I was warm and was busy making tumblr friends yeeeow
And then after that I got up and watched 'You, again' which was surprisingly entertaining but then again I love rom coms yep okay that was anticipated.

Then came the huge emotional breakdown accompanying my guilt over various things
And I just felt generally sad
But then Adam said nice things
And we conspired
And I was all like
DAD CAN I GO TO ADAM'S? and he was like K
So I ate a delicious dinner of delicious pasta and chips and stuff

And then I broke a bowl and a plate
And
Then

Dad drove me on over to the Clarkson residence and everything was perfect for three hours
And then my father arrived
And now I am
At
Home
And my dad is watching The Suite Life On Deck and I'm confused

Good bye now friends

The events of today

I can't be bothered re-typing things so I'm just going to copy what I sent Adam

Well we were studying in the quad
And Gracie, Jason and I decided to go do like
Quiet last minute study
So we went to the table behind the art rooms
And instead of doing business,
We sung songs from High School Musical and danced on the tables
Anyway
I then went on to
Fail my exam
Or I presume I did
Everyone else was like IT WAS SO EASY
And I was like
Um.
And then we missed our bus so we had to
Take a train and then a bus
Which took us on like a loop around melbourne before getting to Doncaster
And then we had to walk down the road to The Pancake Parlour
And Tom raced me
And Gracie
And it was awesome
Oh in the meantime, I had to cancel my Zumba class thing which made Tash mad
Anyway
We got in and ordered
And ate $160 worth of amazing pancakes and milkshakes and we all just
Died
And it was so fun
And we like made a toast to Mrs Dennehy
And it was one of the loveliest things I've ever experienced
And then afterwards Gracie was taking me home and her mum was delayed so we went to Shoppo
And into Dangerfield
And I bought a shirt with Gerard Way on it
And made friends with the guy at the counter
And the girl assistant
Which made me happy
Andnow
I am
At home.

Good Night – Rogers


A Ringo song. Play this in front of your lady friend and BANG there's your formula for success. But only because Ringo wrote it. Rogers = man crush



Oh Henry Guala you are one of my favourite humans

Going on a terrible adventure!

I've only been listening to Rick Astley for like half an hour and I don't really want to pack my bag because I can't decided if my green headband matches my green jacket and it's making me confused and sad.

Hey here's an idea:
Let's not go to Adelaide on the weekend before exams
lol ok

Every time something awful happened today I was like hey I'm just going to ignore this and feel good but then something else happened and I hate all this blog complaining but at the same time I like just need to write it down so yeah um here it goes here's a list of shit things that happened to me.

Lol actually I change my mind. I just wrote the list and now I'm like yeahum I can't be fucked and this is ridiculous
I'm like
Unintentionally attention-seeking


And what the fuck how did Denni find my tumblr I'm so pissed and I can't even vent about it on tumblr because she has my tumblr and what the fuck is she even doing there it's so private and she says things and I'm so angry and I don't want to do anything and I just want to scream at everyone to fucking help me because I want help and I'm so tired and I love Adam and that's the only nice thing and what the fuck I can't do anything right what the actual fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

My eyes hurt

It's like this temporary anxiety where I can't actually focus on anything, but stress about everything
It's like this constant throbbing in my head where I can't pinpoint what I should actually do

I am going to speak to Mrs Mcafferty tomorrow morning because I know I've missed at least two appointments with Sally and y'know that kind of shits me. I actually kind of really need her right now.

It's strangely beautiful, these emotions showing
I feel raw and real for the first time in a while

It's like I know that underneath the sad, I'm actually happy. So I'm not really sad at all.

Panic! At The Disco

It was only today that the realisation sunk in that I will be seeing Panic! live in four months. I can't actually express into words how excited I am; this is what I've been looking forward to for the six sweet years that Patd have been in my life. Bandom like this is such a strange thing. It's where like 4 times in the last week I have cried because I just love them so much and their music means that much to me. I just think about all the significant moments in my life that I've used Panic! At The Disco to calm me down, pump me up, make me feel better or just feel totally nice and calm and lovely. There are so many memories that I can attach to every word of every line of every song and I just feel so overwhelmed with how much of my life they take up, it's so totally bizarre. I think about how much I love Panic and Bdon and Spence and Ian and Dallon and Ryan and Jon. I even love Brent just a little bit. Uh kind of. The point is, they are my absolute favourite band and will always mean so so so very much to me. I'm going to die at Sw Revolution, I'm going to fangirl the fuck out and fall over and sob and cry and just lose my shit in general.

Yeah lol that's it.

124 people follow me on formspring

124 people are constantly sorely disappointed

I forgot to mention

I'm going to Soundwave Revolution jayfahkalajdjalahskajbd I love having something to look forward to, it's nice

A miniature version of what I would like to say

Vanessa uses pretentious vocabulary in the wrong way and shows off about not eating.

Give me a pen, call me Mr. Benzadrine

My throat hurts and my eye lids are closing.
I think that maybe somehow I wish that I went to Preshil but since it's totally out of the question, I'm just going to ignore that. I'll just live out my dream through the words of Adrien (And Max?) for now. Or something. I hate myself.

Today I completed the worst and hardest business test ever created by the devil. I think I passed. Actually maybe not when I think really hard about it.

I can't bring myself to be bothered with words.
Good bye, friends.

Why is Sky Ferreira so cool?

I am currently watching Fight Club and I feel kind of nice.
I don't think that I should ever go to school ever again. It's not really important and stuff. I'm learning enough at the moment from this 100th viewing of this movie. Go away, everything else.
Also what was David/Zander talking about when they said Bob was attractive? Like no. Not even at the start.

lkjnefa yeah so anyway
I like things, they are nice. I like Adam, he is a lovely boy.
I like Frani and Camille and Henry and everyone.
Maybe later I will write things that matter.

No one is reading this - you are all at school.
Good bye

Being sick is ridiculous

At the moment, I have this really strange sensation in which I feel as though I'm faking sick, but I'm really not. I keep thinking 'Yes, my mum's buying it!' But then I'm like, this isn't pretend, and I actually feel like crap. I haven't felt this genuinely sick in so long, it's really weird.
It's like not even I will believe that I'm sick aof;ejna what is this.

I want to go to school tomorrow
But like
I'm not going to
So there you go.

Curtis

His dad just saw a Beatles cover band and the lead singer was named Grace Dowling


How crazy/exciting

It is 1:14 and I'm not tired

cbs writing a whole lot of stuff
Things are fun sometimes
I think tomorrow might be nice
Good bye

The weather is bringing everyone down.

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

I am going to be okay

Woke up at 4:45. Owned Religion in the face.

Okay not really
I'm expecting a B

One month with Adam today. Give a cheer.

The bus in nice bye

I'm a big fan of 50 Cent, or as he's known in Zimbabwe, four hundred million dollars.

Why is facebook funny sometimes?

Ugh okay so the thing is, Adam and friends and stuff make me feel nice and happy but everything else is kind of awful and I can't be bothered doing things. I especially can't be bothered with this religion assignment. It's not even that much work. Just ceebs?
I wrote a poem at work. It wasn't very nice but it made me feel a lot better. I actually wrote about five, and I wrote them on old reciepts and put them in my waistband.
It was a weird shift tonight.

I'm in a strange and peculiar
Mood
And
I
Don't
Know
Why

La la la la

Adam loves me la la la la la everything in the world is great lalala la la la laaaa la la I love Adam la la la la la

I was fine until everyone started treating me like I shouldn't be

2nd floor G bathrooms. I don't want to go to Maths. I want someone nice to come in here and hug me. I want someone I don't really know to hug me. I want to tell everyone everything. I want to go home. I want to read The Great Gatsby.

It's such a strange thing

When everything catches up with you. My entire body feels tired.
Tonight was the hugest turning point I guess. UghThatSoundsLame. But I guess I don't know I've kinda realised what things actually mean and stuff yeah I don't know. Words aren't my thing.

Fucking hell some people suck

Why does James Story even talk ever

And who the hell is Jalena

What is this

Last night was one of those nights you know will stay with you for life.

Ca-use that's just ri-dic-u-lous-ly odd

kso I'm just hoping that when I'm old, I can have access to my old blogs and read through them because by then, time travel will exist and I can just zoom back in time and hit myself in the face and make my blog awesome and then I will grow up to be a great person. Cool.

Holy Joseph I can't stop listening to Britney aaipjoflmefijkn

Right now is

Berry/White chocolate scone, Napoleon Dynamite, Disgustingly comfortable clothes, Bed, Depression, Anger, Headaches.
I feel so fucking disgusting, I don't even know why. Today is meant to be my favourite day in the year and yet it turned out to be the worst day in a really long time. Everything sucks and I hate everything.
I feel as if I should feel all proud because I missed Business and half of English to get picked up early and come sleep at home, but really I can't be bothered feeling proud. I can't really be bothered feeling. Ugh today not only did I feel ugly, but I felt stupid and dull and inadequate and tired and angry and ugh. I don't even know. Ugh.

I miss Adam very much and would like to be able to see him at school more often or something.

Ugh ugh ugh so many things I'd like to say right now but I can't be fucking bothered. I feel so fucking down.
Fuck fuck
Ugh

Oh wow

Waiting for a train

Why was yesterday so incredibly fun? I want to join a Chinese church forever oh my God it was so wonderful. I love new people shhskajshsais so much fun.
Then I got to spend some time with ma gurrrrlllll. Which always sux.
Well not really but yeah!

Skyping Anton last night made me sad and feel awful. It has been one quarter and one week of his time away. I think it's going slowly.

Oh wow some guy just started telling me about how his train is always late and how he always misses the start of the footy. He's traveling to Box Hill. Figures.

Right now I'm so exceptionally nervous for Adam's house and I don't even really know why. Gakaksgsja I hate myself.

When I get home, I have to somehow miraculously finish all my holiday homework which somehow once again I have managed to leave until the very last night. There is something wrong with me. 

I have a feeling I look bad today.
Awesome !

Uhyeahbye.

TonightThis Morning

I feel very strange I think
Lillie is extraordinarily nice and I has so much lovely fun putting up the stars on my ceiling. When I turn the lights off and lie down, it is the most exceptional feeling. Dayum my ceiling is great.
Ugh I can't be bothered doing anything ever. I have to wake up in five hours but I think instead I'd like to sleep the day away.

Everything in my bed is so lovely and warm and beautiful. Maybe in the morning I'll make pancakes

Or maybe I won't.


Good night, non-existant, imaginary blogger folk trollin' the dash at 2:30am

I hope you have have an imaginarily wonderful sleep.

I have so much to do

I need to do my work, clean my room, put the rest of my glow-in-the-dark stars up, lose weight in like three days, and just generally be happier n' shit
Yeah cool I hate everything.


fuckyes Chinese church tomorrow I am so incredibly excited asdfghjkl;

The idea of toe-sucking is so repulsive

Hi so the thing is it's 12:55 and I'm only listening to The White Album which is pretty nice except I think it's making me sleepy. This is not so good because I want to stay up as late as possible and talk to Adam&Henry&Alex&Anton and things. Today was nice kind of I think. This morning was one of the greatest things I have done in a really long time! I loved just chilling in the cathedral for a while - it was the most calming thing ohmygod. The library was pretty chill. I got something done lolyay.


SORRY FRANI AND HENRY IOU ONE GOOD BLOG POST I'M TIRED NOW LOL NIGHT
Also it's now 2:39
I am slow.

My hair smells great

One day soon I'm going to write a long blog that I've been meaning to post for a long long long time.
For now, I will be brief

Adam is the most wonderful individual in the world
My hair smells great


That's all that matters right now k goodnight

So

Today was the best day of my life no exaggeration !
I'm going to get a book and write down the events of what happened today so I don't forget it.
I'd write it here but I'm 400% sure no one cares.

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 is on and I want to stab myself in the foot.

lawl nuffin will bring me down 2niteeeeeeeee

But seriously
Nothing

My shuffle just went
Mcr - radiohead - the smiths - panic - the killers - the beatles - we the kings

Lol what life is good

My legs

are so fucking smooth right now what. They are so smooth. They feel like fucking silk. They feel like a cloud. Oh my God my legs are so soft what the hell is going on this is so nice I am God.

Driving in my car.

I am on the way to visit my friend Alex Kinsella.
When I get home, I am going to maybe take a look at my Maths homework and maybe take a look at churches for the religion assignment.

Oh and like an hour ago, my mum asked me about drinking at Zander's. It was so awesome hdhafgajslsjsgd she was like 'well it's illegal but... As long as you're safe and in a relatively controlled environment. You're aware of the stuff it can do but yeah you're smart and stuff' if was so good. My mum is cool sometimes !

I have arrived at Alex's good bye.

It is probably about time

I just cried for the first time in like a month and he hardest in like a year. I think maybe it's time to see someone. Or not.

In other news last night was wonderful for he most part and I have the best boyfriend in the world. I'm now going to work to experience hell. Maybe when I get home I'll do something productive. Or not.

WHY IS THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION SO FUNNY?

Henry: I never have butter on sandwiches
Grace: Good. That is so wrong
Henry: I must be on a roll tonight
Grace: Unlike butter !

Grace: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Awkward-moment-when-you-realise-how-ugly-your-ex-was/172359402787417

Henry: oh
my
god
YOU'RE DEAD

Grace: -Laughs-
I couldn't resist

Henry: We'll see who's the ugly one when i kidnap jack

Just for like, the record, and stuff.

Camille
13:59
If Griffin Barnes is gay I'll eat a rabbit

Wut

I just walked across cork floors, under an in built arch, and into the sunken lounge. My house is so fucking seventies lolwhatthefuck I'm never having people over again

Moving isn't so hard

I just get to sit on the couch all day and watch the Simpsons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B5VS-hr54A

Last night/This morning

1:30 AM, I fall asleep on my conversation with Adam for the first time in ages. I sleep for like 4 hours and wake up feeling confused. After I've acknowledged the conversation that I left and the question on my formspring, I think 'Hey! Why not just watch a movie?' So I watched one episode of Modern Family and then the first forty minutes of Exit Through The Gift Shop and then went back to sleep for 5 more hours.

None of that's really relevant to anything
I feel really happy
Although moving house depresses me,
I'm just
Distracting myself with Napoleon Dynamite / iCarly

Just Frani being awesome

Frani:
23:30
HOW
HOW
PACMAN !

Grace:
: v

Frani:
:
WHERE IS THAT BUTTON
HOW DO YOU DO THAT
THE DOWN ARROW
I DON'T
WHAT
HOW
mY COMPUTER IS BROKEN
IT DOESN'T COME WITH THAT BUTTON

Grace:
It's the
V
Key
You absolute loser

Frani:
oh

I am tired so I'm doing that thing where you kind of drify in and out of sleep
But it's like drifting in and out of dreams
And I just thought to myself
That 'sanity' could be sold at Villeroy and Boch
But also that it was a bowl of pasta
I can't even see what i'm tpying- I'm so tired
But i needed to write things down
My head
Hurts

Hi There

So life is kind of really strange right now. I'm sick of constantly being yelled at or feeling really uncomfortable at home n' shit but I suppose that it'll go away when we move..hopefully. My mother has just gone temporarily insane. I thought buying shit yesterday would make me feel better but it didn't really, especially because I had to pack it all straight into a box anyway.

I wonder if it's alright for me to write about Adam. I feel kind of weird knowing he won't read this n' junk.
Oh well, he is nice and I am extraordinarily happy about
him
and
yeah.

I could also listen to Neil Diamond for the rest of my life if I wanted to.
Bye !

Oh my God she found another one

They can be friends!

Mum just found my Tamagotchi

Oh my god I need batteries right now

Fuck

I am so nervous that I am attempting to distract myself by reading conspiracy theories about Rydon.
I am so
Nervous

Lac is so great

I don't think I really enjoyed today very much. I liked the bus ride at the end and that is it.
/end

Okay so the thing is, yesterday was really brilliant.
Drawing on/with Anna and Katherine, avoiding bad selfies with Aarish and sharing Syphilis with Zander. Asdfghjkkl not to mention the fact that our Tranter team was amazing at bike relay. That also may be because it was so fuckin easy.
Oh and I also love my morphsuit an unnatural amount. Except it smells like new plastic mixed with Aarish.

This blog is really bad because I'm on a bus and simultaneously reading.
There are also other reasons for my inexplicable happiness but y'know I don't think I'll write about it here, maybe because it will seem so good that I won't be able to comprehend that it's true.

It's kind of like that bit in Notting Hill when Hugh Grant is all adorable and is like 'I might tell myself sometimes....but I don't think even I will believe me'
Or something. Just whatever. I am so happy.

I was lost, in a fool's paradise

Today is so strange and it's just begun. I want to go back to sleep already. Oh I just want to float away.





People on my bus aren't as cool as I previously thought.

I think Panic! At The Disco,

will always be my favourite band always. They have really just gotten me through the strangest and largest amount of shit which I literally survived because of them and I know that all sounds dramatic and awful and scene or something but I just love every single thing ever produced by Patd and also I'm in a weird mood. Cool bye!

I love feeling shit because of my awesome relationship with my mum

Fuckity fuck fuck what kind of teenager am I

Sweet Caroline

I am so happy it's insane

My blog is ridiculous

All the posts on the current page are happy and full of awful sound-words such as 'da' and 'la'
How insane of me.
Also my last two posts started with 'lawl'
Why do I even have friends?

Baby I was born this way

Lawllll my teachers love me !
Mr. Rimington said I'm vibrant. vibrant!

Oh goody gumdrops I'm so excited.
Tomorrow I get to have more fun relaxation times at home
and then Wednesday,
I get to see my favourite humans and be merry ! I love Wednesdays, I love life.

I can't handle it when I turn off my night-light

Lawl life fuck you. 'Grace is too happy....I know...LET'S INFLATE HER EYE TO THE SIZE OF A PING PONG BALL !'
Today was fun in a fucked up miserable kind of way. I got to make awkward swollen-eye contact with Johnny Loftus at the doctor and spend the rest of the day watching Pretty Little Liars and listening to Cream and eating sushi/gummy bears

I look ridiculous ! But nothing can stop me feeling happy right now

Actually,
My mother is at parent-teachers and I'm kind of incredibly nervous for the result. Ma teachers h8 mi coz dey aint miiiii !
..er but seriously. My mum's going to be angry or something

Oh well ! Certain people exist so
life is still good


Now it's time for more Pretty Little Liars. Bye.

I think that maybe

I could die of just intense happiness.
Oh goodness gracious me I feel really nice and my bed is warm and The Kinks somehow keep coming on my radio and aidhjbake nice.

My eye is swollen up ridiculously though

Night !

I got sunshine on a cloudy day.

I woke up this morning truly believing that I dreamed last night. Asdfghjkl I never do nice things ever.

Now I'm watching My Girl and I feel sad because it's the bit where they just kissed and they're awkwardly walking their bikes back.




Oh my God it just finished, I am so sad.

Now it's time to go prepare myself for a really odd music gathering.
Cya later skaters

A heck-load of a good time

I think some people are really nice mhm.

Da da da I want to sing for a full day !

General niceties

Today was actually really great !
I did some work in every class and although I failed my Maths test, I had a really nice time. I just floated around feeling lovely. Lunch time was frustrating but then it was fun in the end! My favourite favourite part however was after school in where I ended up talking to 'da boiz' for a prolonged period of time. The awkwardly realizing I had been unintentionally following them as Tash and I saw them from across the road. A really tall, happy looking man just got on my bus ! I like him


Good bye my friends

I feel happy and nice and confused and happy

I am so happy and everything is just too wonderful to be truthful and oh God today it is going to be a really nice day today !
Lalalallalalalakakakkakaakohshwjsjdyhabsbdhdhabshus so happy.

I could just explode

So happy, so very, very very very happy forever

Grace: I swear I'll never have to figure out the area of a trapezium...or like a cone.
Ryan: you never know grace, you never knowww..
what if
you wanted to make your little elves
a cone hat
Grace: That's a good point!
Get it?
Point!
Like a cone!

I look repulsive after sport

Badminton was actually fun for the first time why. That probably had something to do with the baby possum, singing with Alo, talking to Ellie Schonberg again and actually being fucking awesome at badminton itself.
I'm not actually sure why my life is so wonderful. Asdfghklj some people are extraordinary.

Sweet Caroline

I am on the bus with people I do not feel comfortable around and I'm relaying the events of today in my mind. Everything was really biazarre I think. All my classes felt so surreal and boring. Recess was actually pretty outstanding as I got to go on a walk with Jarrah who I have taken a really large liking to. Lunch time however was  Pretty. Odd. I mean, it was nice and I had fun but the things that happened in the end were really weird. 
I can't be bothered writing anymore !

Good bye

I am not done.

SO OFTEN I FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE JETHRO TULL FUCK


Someone needs to dance with me now please.

Bigmouth Strikes Again

Here I am sitting on a small bridge in my garden, amongst all the flowers. I feel as if everything is right in the entire galaxy because I feel so nice and lovely and carefree and warm. Earlier, I felt a general feeling of unease but now I realise there is no point being anything but happy ! I feel wonderful wonderful wonderful. Good Bye!

Written regarding yesterday (Thursday)
I am so genuinely surprised by how much I enjoyed today. I was absolutely dreading swimming sports as per usual however since I didn't have to swim, it was just totally nice and wonderful. Camille and I did a rockin' job of marshaling and became bestows with Ben Price in the meantime. Oh and we also saw Zain's body which was cool n' stuff. After our twenty-minute stint of cap collecting, the rest of the day was literally just sitting outside and feeling generally relaxed. Everyone needs to give a cheer and be proud of me because I totally made new friends ! Well not really but y'know I had some nice conversations with some nice people. And one really annoyingly brief one but I'm not going to go into that. Wow so overall, today was probably the best day that has occurred in a really long time ! It was really good just because everyone was happy and I got hugs from all these people and wow yeah. Radical.

Also year elevens are fun !


....
That was written on a receipt at work last night I'll have you know. I hope you can now see why it was so shit. Oh speaking of work, I make burgers now!

I am on the bus and have to do my homework now bye

Scary planes going fast are scary.

I think I really like flying. Although it is incredibly safe, there is always the thought in the back of my mind that my flight will be the one to go horribly wrong. It's fairly exciting.

Hopefully they play The Gruen Transfer again!

Farewell for now.

I just want to sing and jump out of my window

Not in a suicidal way, in more of a I-feel-like-gliding-down-through-the-air-and-floating-in-the-harbor-because-I'm-so-happy kinda way.


Fuck those hyphens took ages



Appreciate the shit out of them

Why don't you promise me?

I feel nice and relaxed and interesting.
I have made friends with an eight-year-old named Reginald. (Reggie) And we are best friends.
This morning, my whole school week became worth if because I went to Movieworld which just so happensto be one of my favourite places in the universe. Then, I went outlet shopping with my father's friend Jen and I bought pieces of clothing that are really quite beautiful. I think that when I wear, I think I will feel pretty. Since then, I've watched approximately 8 episodes of Degradssi and am currently waiting for a potentially nice dinner at Marty and Jen's place. Reggie is going to sit next to me.

Uh, good bye!

Tonight has been so strange

Washing dishes, laughing at Chinese jokes, getting paid, losing my voice, studying maths, eating ice cream, watching Desperate Housewives, packing for spontaneous Queensland trip, talking to nice people, doing the inevitable, thinking about sleep, refusing to sleep.

I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA

I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA
I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA
I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA
I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA
I WANT TO BE AT KE$HA

Stupid Sam is stupid.

I listed to 'Grow a Pear' like forty times before because I am depressed.

Two things for the brighter side:

1. The shorts I bought in the holidays are way too big and I can actually fit back into my year seven shorts.

2. I will stop posting now.

I'm falling into department

Grace is straightening Frani's hair and we're discussing debt

I straighten my tongue xoxo

CAN'T WAIT 4 WE DA KINGZ N EVERYONE ELSEEEEEEEE


Twee and creeper photo of Jordan go well together

'Thank you so very much'

I'm quite thankful for the people I know.

Okay tomorrow is a new day
I will get up, wash my hair, get ready, sit with nice characters on the bus, eat breakfast with my friends, have whatever class, have an overdue conversation, get an overdue hug, class, assembly (Nap time), drink a juice box, EAT MY FOOD, class, class, bus, home, sleep, homework x100

Easy Peasy.

I also plan on looking pretty tomorrow.
Watch out.

I felt fucking pathetic all day
Today was one of the worst

I feel sick and tired and so over everything

And so
Fucking alone

No, you're the loveliest!

This weekend predominantly, was nice! Bike fitness was strangely enjoyable because the weather was pleasant and Rachael and I sung songs from Repo. Also, I am definitely getting better at actually riding ! Everybody shout hooray!

Then it got awful for a bit during the house auction but, from a selfless point of view, I suppose selling the house was  a positive. Ugh.

My uncle's party was enjoyable! Teagan and I were semi-reclusive for a while, but that's alright because we watched Hairspray and talked about Ke$ha.
Then when we went out, I experienced the most fun I'd ever had dancing. I know I've said it so many times in the last few days, but I really do adore my family's parties.

Sunday house chapel I had anticipated to be awful,  but really it was fine. It was more than fine actually because we got to see Tash and that makes me really happy. We also saw Goldy being cute with his family. No biggie.

THE FIRST TIME I WROTE THAT, INSTEAD OF 'his family' IT SAID 'guacamole' SO IT WAS LIKE
'Goldy being cute with guacamole' 
And I laughed really hard.

Uh anyway, I went to my dad's house and we all ate surprisingly pleasant pizza hut and watched 'Bill and Ted's'
You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Oh and then fun times at Camille's house were in order! That was so excellently nice and relaxing I cannot express it into words. There was Paprika everywhere and we spent an hour and a half doing sleep related activities. I also did my maths which was nice. 

Last night skyping Frani, I put her through the semi-hell that was looking through just about every photo of my childhood. I was so incredibly impressed with myself, however it also brought me to ponder over why I even have friends.

Afterwards, I brushed my teeth in my room because I was scared of the ghost in the bathroom mirror. What of it?

I ended up having some really nice conversations with multiple people last night, and then one confronting one. 

My mother walked in at about midnight which was sufficiently awkward because she pulled the whole 'Is your computer in your bed?' thing and I had to blatantly lie when it was so clear that it was. Oh well, this morning she seemed to have forgotten about it.

Right now I look ugly and feel tired and have pain in my mouth because of these fucking train tracks and I want to go up the back to sit with Rachael and co. but I'm frightened. Yeah.

And so that's pretty much the end. I'm sorry if you read all of that expecting a nice story or some kind of moral when really, I was just relaying a mundane weekend. Oh well. You can bite me. Or I could say something more aggressive sounding. Good bye!

The auction has begun.

I am just freak freak freaking out

Blah blah, blah blah blah

Firstly, https://www.careylink.com.au/_layouts/eDirectory/GetPhoto.aspx?ID=225770

Secondly, all is well in the Dowling household.
Oh wait no I forgot, it's not the Dowling household for much longer.
In 27 minutes, some leech will suck up the house that contains my childhood.

Hooray for everything.

Also, I've decided to lose a lot of weight before the end of the year.
There you go.

Hi guys!

I feel so incredibly unhappy. Just constantly.
A bit of bby Ke$h helped me but yeah not for long really.

Thinking about you makes me want to stay inside and sleep all day.

Desperate housewives is starting bye

I love:

Henri with the 'i'
Jakob with the 'k'
Christofer with the 'f'
Alix with the 'i'
Taelor with the 'e'

Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain you beautiful man

Work was so tiring like wow. I washed so many dishes...and believe you me I did it like a boss.
And then I bought a mars bar in batter for my mum, brother and self to share because I'm a great person and I was hungry.
Now I'm just dwelling in my own happiness because I'm not going to school tomorrow and writing this blog that is seemingly amount to hit a dead end.
Night, all.

La da da da da dum da da

Bike Fitness was tiring but fun!
Camille's hair is beautiful!
Boys are difficult!
..However my media project went well!
Photos are all edited!
It's 12:45!
Time for sleep!

ME TOO! I CAN MAKE LISTS TOO!

This weekend is:
Bike Fitness (or not?)
English speech
Maths
French
Business
Media project
Frani's media project
Work
Take other nice photos
Be generally relaxed and awesome

The end.

Follow: http://zoegodiva.blogspot.com/

Intricate ideas and stuff

Dearest Blogger,

I am so sorry that I now only post morbid, whiny, pathetic posts but you see it's just kind of how I'm feeling at the moment. I just.... There's so many things that have amounted to this overwhelming sadness. Today when I started crying-no, bawling, it was like this huge realisation of how very much it hurts. I thought I didn't know why it was happening and that's what I said but I suppose I do.
I know I don't have depression, I'm not sick. I just get really tired of everything quickly. I'm just so stressed. This whole...everything is just hard. It's hard.

I'm going to make a deliberate effort to feel/be better. I'm going to go home and complete my work and everything I have to do. Then I'm going to have an unnaturally large cup of tea and watch the crap out of Desperate Housewives. I'm going to be alright, most definitely alright.

Giant Spider's Rolling

Miss Dennehey is the devil
Joelle is so pretty it hurts
Seb can fuck off from my mind
Camile and Frani are funny and stuff
Bike Fitness is for losers
Art Tour isn't going to happen
French trip might.
My life has no excitement
I have no drive

I also hate who I am.


Bye now.

Listening to 'Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Shirt Off'

And remembering why P!atD are my favourite band. Yeah cool today is going to be shit. Bye.

Ground Control to Major Tom

What a terrible day full of terrible stuff. I dislike everything, yay!

Time for sleep very, very soon.

Don't feel like doing any of this, no I don't.

I just got up at 5 to write french paragraphs about my family and friends.

You're jealous of me? I can certainly see why. Well all you have to do is lean in and I'll tell you the secret to being like me
be ridiculously unhappy and generally dissatisfied with life.

Yesterday was so awful. So many things went badly and it makes me a little bit frustrated that it all occurred on one of my favourite calendar days.

Spontaneous Subway was fun but otherwise,

I swear to god yesterday was trying to kill me.

Oh my goodness I'm so confused as to what to do about everything.

That sentence was mildly non-sensical.

It's 6:02 and I was meant to start getting ready 30 minutes ago.

Bye blogger. Next time I see you I will have completed a school day in which I will either be incredibly miserable or act entirely fine. I don't know which one yet.

Also if Camille checks this during the day,

Hi Camille Ham. I hope you feel a lot better this morning and I hope you know I'm insanely jealous of you. Cool. Also wish me luck for house. I LOVE YOU just a bit n' stuff.

I feel sick

I have no idea what to do except cry and hate myself.
I am so sorry, I didn't realise
I am so sorry
I don't know what to do
I am so sorry

Frani's dad is here!

The Baudelaire Bears

This weekend was alright! I think I just managed to build up unrealistic expectations, which is never positive.

Bike Fitness was awful and the cause for a substantial amount of self-hatred. It was also the place for a very sad realisation about the lack of sleep I get.

Seeing Tash was really rockin'. I do love that girl so very much, and it was so humourous. Even a little visit from Mrs. Parsons didn't break my spirits.

Alex Kinsella's house was fun as per usual. I made lovely friends at Maccas and felt incredibly relaxed and nice.

Frani's at night was average.
Oh I'm totally kidding! Fun with Grace and the Boys is always guarenteedeo
...Oh god I just wrote that. There's something wrong here.

Anyway, last night was really quite sensational. Frani, Camille and Paprika make me inexplicably happy and calm and happy!

Except this morning turned sad when I realised I hate myself. Whoopa!

When I got home, I was clearly more tired than anticipated because I fell into an accidental nap. And then I had that terribly sensation when you've slept for a few hours and you have a funny taste in your mouth and you feel like death and the time doesn't make sense. It was frightening and I did not like it.

WORK HOWEVER, was fun. I fully washed dishes! In case you're confused, that is something to get excited about.
And yeah things are alright.

Except this fucking media project which is driving me absolutely insane. Like....to insanity. Crazy. Insane. Not good.

Henry is most likely retarded in the head.

This blog post is badly written and things. NIGHT Y'ALL

This day started off terribly

But I like how I did my hair

I need to pee. So fucking badly.

Bloody orange juice.... And diet coke. Gosh I'm stupid.

But any way yeah, this blog has no point. I'm just trying to distract myself.
Speed bumps oh god no!

Hurry up, bus.
This could be potentially very, very bad.

God damn I love my brother

I feel so bad for him. My heart....actually aches. It's awful.

It was really extrodinarily hard to be in a good mood today. Everything went wrong and multiple people decided to be irritating and oh gee it was difficult.

I did buy some orange juice though, so it's not that bad.

Time for sleeping...and also attempting to lucid-dream

Good Night

Maxwell's silver hammer came down on her head

Today I am going to be extrodinarily happy and polite. I've current got a bit of a Beatles marathon going on here at the bus stop, making use of Camille's headphones. I'll do my maths on the bus and once again, be able to withhold my outstanding record of successfully completed work!

I think I might buy some orange juice later.
Mm juice.

Adieu!

A Streetcar Named Desire

I'm embarrassed by my perspiration
Oh goodness I could watch this a hundred times.

Blanche is so lovely and admirable. Well I think so anyway

Oh old movies are so romantic. And I don't mean in regards to love and actual romance. I'm talking about the language and the characters and the general tragic nature; Romantic

I just...
I just sound so pretentious constantly.
But you know, I don't mind. Because tonight I feel happy. I feel alright !

As a conversationalist, you make my dreams

Making new friends!

Today was quite nice ! Business was incredibly funny because Gracie is hilarious and stuff.
And the school was school for a while but then I got to reaquaint myself with a friend and become even better friends with someone else.
PE was humourous but then what do you expect when given a game of ultimate vortex?

New friends are nice and new and nice!
'I'll be the one looking hot'
'I'll be the one looking not'

Oh I was also thinking,
I wish our school let us pick our PE teams like they do on movies because I'm thinking about my stories in the future.
Its so much nicer to say 'in high school, I was always picked last' and use that symbolism as apposed to being forced to come out and say 'I had no friends.'

Tired ramblings intended to be read in a southern drawl

1. Alex makes me laugh and stuff, even when insulting the Church of Wombats
2. French is an entirely difficult language. Needless to say, I bombed out on the test
3. I miss Anton!
4. Alessandra Roder in maths is the most amusing thing I've ever personally experienced. "Everyone sit down" "NUP"
5. Diet coke is nice
6. I'm so tired
7. I love things
8. I'm sad
9. The recorder is a beautiful instrument
10. I'm so fucking tired
11. My eyes are closing
12. asdgdkjngs

Also, I just realised my bus is running extraordinarily late. Fucking awesome.

Can't wait to change buses

If it wasn't for Denni, I don't know what I'd do..

Oh good goodness my morning is terrible already. This is going to be a truly interesting day!

anton conos

*a whole lot of keyboard mashing*

damn this is sad.


group skype was so amusing though, on the brighter side!

I don't care what they say, The Parent Trap is in my top 10

Yesterday was incredibly shit!
Not the gathering specifically, I just woke up feeling awful and then spent the rest of the day that way. Fun times with Grace and the Boys did lighten my mood significantly but it was short-lived because then later that night all this sadness came back and I felt so terrible and so pathetic and ugh. It was so shit.

The night got humourous later on however, with dnms with Izy and Alex.
Actually it was more just Izy and I laughing about Alex's terrible phrasing.

*Discussing Meredith from The Parent Trap*
Grace: She is hot though..!
Alex: Yeah but her personality ruins it
Alex: ...Like Barbara from bank world

Grace: WHAT? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHAHA

Alex: No I mean I saw a photo of her in the paper and she looked friendly but then as Barbara she is the devil.

Grace and Izy: *ignores alex* YOU THINK BARBARA FROM BANK WORLD IS HOT

and then I laughed for like twenty minutes.



Also at Camille's I made an awesome call but I am not going to post it because that would be vain and not nice
so I'll just wait for someone else to do it.
*looks pointedly at frani*


Now I have to go eat, do my homework, study for french and get my life back on fucking track

peace!

*p.s. henry is nice for late night conversation

Just a couple of sidenotes!

Work gets more amusing when playing I spy or trying to to test people by leaving 5 cent coins on the ground.

The white stripes made my day sad.

This week has kind of caught up with me.

Work was lovely

School was nice

I just want to sleep now

Even though for the first time, I haven't done my homework.

Oh god I'm going to hell now

Have You Ever Seen The Rain - The Ramones

This weekend was strange.

Yesterday was such a weird day really. It was just cleaning and mindless activity before chilling it out and my dad's house. Then came the afore-mentioned awkwardness of Nicole's birthday party. I won't go into that again because I'm positive I would just start ranting and make any potential readers of my blog feel uncomfortable.

This morning was strange...Jo is quite the peculiar girl. Together, we watched Charlie St. Cloud and got confused/sad throughout the whole thing...which was bizarre. Sam talked to me on chat! That was odd but nice. She really is lovely in small doses. Speaking of which, there is a possibility I am going back to good old NZ to visit mid 2011 HOWEVER don't get yourself all worried and such because it's not definite. My parents need to be convinced and plane ticket money needs to be earned.

ANYWAYANYWAY approximately one and a half hours after Joanna left the Dowling residence, Frani/Frami appeared !

This was quite exciting you see, as I have this livid fear of spending most days in 2011 apart from her and actually sighting her for real calmed my terror just that nice little bit.

I spoke to Anthony on the phone! And and and I realised that I need to grow a moustache because they look really good on me ....and and countless other things happened but I really can not be bothered recalling them .

Most importantly, for dinner we ordered Flakey Jakes and it was so so so amusing. On the phone when I gave my name for the order, Selena was like '...Is this you, Grace?' and it was so cute. Then when we came in, I got to show Frani my lovely workplace and exchange inside jokes with Selena.

Actually eating the food was an interesting thing. Disgusting hamburger in batter was disgusting and so so so wrong. I still feel kinda nauseous from that.

AND I broke my chocolate pact for the very special exception of a mars bar in batter. DON'T KNOCK IT TIL YOU TRY ITTTTT. Ever since Kris was talking about them the other day, I have been wanting one. Seriously, I don't even care about breaking my diet thing. I think I'm going to be more relaxed with it and stuff, I just won't like ....eat chocolate by choice....or often...and yeah. I'm hoping I can train myself to dislike it or something like that.

Ah talking with Franbear today, I have come to think about some things and me oh my, I am so intensely confused and disoriented. Too much thinking for Grace is definitely not good. Especially when I simultaneously have to stress out about starting Senior School. I am positively terrified. But hey, adventures are fun!

I think I might retire around about now. I'm listening to Green Day and feeling alright. I still can't shake this sadness - It's a strange thing.

ohlol Camille I'm re-reading Joel and Kat's.

Tra la fucking la let's get off the laptop now.

As beautiful as Jakob is, this obsession is sad.

Good night world.

i love my gracey

Oh my god I'm such a good person.

Caroline and Alex, have a wonderful day!

Being socially awkward floats my boat.

Oh my god the awkwardness is so strong it hurts.

The party was sad and tense for like 3 hours but then in the last half an hour Katy Perry came on and things heated up ;)

K that was too sexual considering we just danced and ate grapes.

Anyway...

Some people are weird now just putting it out there. Like I got so extremely scared by how much has changed with certain people I used to know. Oh well, it shows how attentive I am.

Also I'm extremely, extremely, extremely sad. I feel like someone has kicked me in the stomach and left a gaping hole. It's pleasant!

Good Night.

Today i sobbed to my mother like a small and pathetic child.

Oh work was so terrible. Kris is nice and stuff but otherwise it was just awful. I'm so terrible at stuff.

Now I get to clean my room thoroughly and prepare it for strangers to inspect before sleeping even though I really do not want to. Tomorrow I will go to a party I don't want to go to and life will be bad again.

Give a fucking cheer.

My beautiful Mac's name is Jakob because he's beautiful

Today was awful awful awful

• Camille and I aren't locker buddies.
• Frani's locker is far away from mine
• I have practically no one i know or like in any of my classes.
• Today i drank chocolate milk
• My school photos were terrible
• I felt sick all day.

I am so horribly, horribly sad.

If it wasn't for this wonderful new Macintosh, I don't know what i would do.

Oh no this year was supposed to be so good!

Fuck so much sadness.

K so I don't know about anyone else

But, I'm absolutely freaking out about tomorrow. And this year actually. New kids everywhere and stuff... Like it's almost guaranteed we'll make friends with at least one. That's so strange. Oh hurry up tomorrow I'd like you to be over

I just love Australia Day

I didn't actually celebrate it that much except for dinner with the grandparents, HOWEVER, I just think today is so nice. Everyone has flags hanging out of their cars, people wave and smile at eachother and proceeds from multiple organizations go to the floods. It's just nice.

What I did do today was hang out with one of my favourite people in this world. We had nice ice cream and he showed me how fast he can run. I really needed today actually. And then Ben appeared and they came to take me home. It was possibly the best car ride ever with Carol's amazing singing to Katy Perry and the Black Eyed Peas. Oh my god it was so good. Firework! Sing firework!

Then we came back to my house and my brother attacked with nurf guns. Too bad Connor and Ben know how to retaliate ;D

Uh yeah bye.

I feel so unwell.

New Zealand is a terrible place filled with misery and people who irritate me to no end.
I don't realise how patriotic I am until someone insults Australia. Damn I love this country.

In other news, I have had some terrible realisations, I'm sick, I have a major lack of confidence musically and stuff and I do not want to go to school at all.

Connor makes things better. Tomorrow should be better. Mainly because I'm going to eat creative ice cream. Good Night.

Okay so I'm awake. And now I'm just procrastinating because I don't want to get out of bed.

The agenda this morning
1. Get out of bed
2. Eat some non-breakfast food for breakfast
3. Shower and wash my hair
4. Get dressed and pack bag for Camille's
5. Write a story !
6. Finish drying hair n' stuff
7. Leave

Cobra Starship !

So yeah idk today was good. I slept in and had nice conversations with people and watched shitty tv and didn't really do anything about my appearance. That was pleasant beyond words.

I feel nice anyway. Today was just....good!

I also surprise myself with my lack of adjectives. It's 1am give me a break.

Breathe Carolina discography finished downloading! hooray!

sdfghjkl; ANYWAY

I'm going to watch the first episode of 'Community'

and then submit to peaceful slumber.

And tomorrow i get to sleep sleep sleep and then have fun timezz at the Ham residence!

Oh everyone give a cheer.

Oh my god drunk Alo I love you

More phonecalls with drunk Alo please.

"let me...let me tell you a story!"

"I WANT TO TALK TO JACKKKKKK"

I've Spent Over Four Hours Now Trying to Find Daniel on Video Omegle

If i see another dick on here, I swear I'll cry. Daniel where are you?

I Hate to Bring This Blog Down with Negative Emotions Already However,

I'm just slightly unstable-feeling as of late. I'm not quite sure what it is - Moving house, going from Mum's to Dad's all the time, being sick, having a friend leaving, letting people down or a mixture of the previous but i am not feeling quite...regular i suppose.

I CAN'T FINISH THIS BLOG FOR TWO REASONS

1. I'm attempting to learn more lyrics and stuff so Frani will be proud of me when she gets back from watching Friends.

2. I'm overwhelmed with sadness all of a sudden!

Peace

Or something

1:40

I think today should have been nicer than it was. I just had a sickly feeling in my stomach and head all day. That was unpleasant,


"Oh my god I love Muffin Break. I just love it so much.
I would catch a grenade for Muffin Break.
I would throw my hand on a blade for Muffin Break.
I would JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN for Muffin Break.
*Incredibly sad face*
But Muffin Break won't do the same......

FRANI'S SINGING ME AMAZING GRACE OH MY GOD LIFE MADE

http://www.acmi.net.au/timeslice/Timeslice.htm?file=ts-20110118-03181d3824c3fc986d44ef3ece627b06.flv

My brother and I undergoing intense battleship yesterday!

There's a Reason I Love Shopping by Myself

Sitting in Coffee Club waiting for my chai. Fuck I forgot how good it is to be alone.

Oh and if you were confused as to why I'm not with Lex,
I got here an hour early because I'm a genius.

Misfits and Watermelon Rock Candy.

Today I get to see Lexi! Yip dee do

And I forgot to mention:

I can totally own the French bit in 'Tree Hugger'
In fact I'll sing it for you right now.
.......
How'd you like that, motherfuckers? I can sing in French!

Sorry for being crass..... It just took me like 3 hours to perfect the timing and memorize it totally.


Snaps for Grace

In the Land of the Workplace

So uh if you're not actually sure what I'm referring to, last night was my first time working at Flaky Jake's Fish n' Chips. It's owned by this lovely Chinese couple Ming and Li Li (spelling?) and their 14 year old daughter Selena. For starters, they are the most adorable people you can actually imagine. Selena was so cute and helpful when training me. I learnt everything about the register and serving, phone orders and cleaning - it was spectacular. All these customers were coming in and making me nervous and stuff but I think I did okay. Also because there weren't many customers last night, Selena and I got to DnM like the whole time. I feel it necessary to relay just one story about her mother Li Li's childhood. She was really young, about 5 and she saw a dead bee on the ground. She felt so bad for it that she thought Hey, I'll be nice and pick it up and take it away. So she carefully picks it up... And it stings her right in the cebtre of her palm.
Okay it was so sad when Selena told it. Shut up.
Oh I'm just so happy! The uniform is so sexy - that hat ;) Mmm. But I don't even care. I have a job! A shit paying, badly uniformed job. And I just love it so much.

A Dowling-Powell Adventute

Every time I go, I forget how lovely the state library is. It's so old and beatiful and quiet and clean! And you can go to the very top and look down on the reading room and feel superior to the people at the bottom.
Anyway, yesterday was enjoyable. I made Camille a wonderful present and we went to the library, ACMI, and the Royal Arcade. While there, Lillie and I decided we were interested in witchcraft and bought a 'Psychic Box' which basically insists on helping the everyday person uncover their clairvoyance. We tried it in the car but y'know the instruction book was boring so that ended that....
Overall the day in the city was alright. Except of course when Andy Jones waved nicely and the Chris Hill just looked at me strangely for a while.
Can't win them all?! Yo ho ho I'm so wise.

Now to blog about work!

Memorabilia

+ My mum just got on the desk because i said she couldn't.

I love my mum

Mum: I am insanely jealous of Frani. She gets all your love.

Spontaneity with the family!

Today:

I bought uncomfortable runners for school.

I lost in a game of bowling against my mum and brother.

I felt ridiculously sad a lot.

Feeling productive yo

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

Two days later
Anton's was so so brilliant. It was so relaxing and lovely and nice. My shoulders are burnt so badly I could cry a lil' bit but you know I suppose it was worth it. 
Reminiscing about old tv shows, rolling down a hill, singing duets, watching the sunset from the pier, jumping off that same pier, sleeping next to everyone radiating sunburned heat.. Oh my gosh just writing all of that I feel insanely happy and glad we got to go even overnight.

Saying goodbye to Anton was exceptionally difficult. I don't actually think I can write about it. It's bringing me down extensively. Oh drats.

I have to go buy school shoes now. GoodBye.

Ps. I love Frani

Average

I wrote a story of terrible substance but substantial effort so I'm pleased. I had a bit of a realisation; I'm not good at writing long stories or planning them. I sit and dream about the ending and then who would play the characters in the movie and all these other unhelpful things.

WHY CANT I SUBSCRIBE TO SLEEP GODDAMMIT!?
I've been trying for hours
Okay so that was a lie
But I've been thinking about trying!
So my credibility is still partially intact. Hello upside!


Okay here goes it.
Good night !

Would you like to come to the pants party?

I would quite like to write something now. I went to the effort of retrieving paper and everything. For one of the first times I can recall, I really have little inspiration. All my mind is producing is somewhat unhelpful and obscure lines from Anchorman. Crazy, right? Don't even answer that. I know it is.

Old people in love

Gran: So when I was young..
Grandpa: HA!
-Gran gives death stare-
-Grandpa blows her a kiss-

~~~

Gran: The biggest invention of my lifetime was...
Grandpa: The newspaper!
Gran: That was a lot before my time, thankyou.
Grandpa: That was a joke! A joke!
Gran: *mutters* Silly old man

Neddy Bear

I just found this on my bookmarks from last year:
http://www.hugosite.host22.com/life.html

Hot damn I miss Hugo

If you (the unexistant follower) would like some background information,

http://pocketprotectorsandothercoolthings.blogspot.com/ year eight mostly

http://hollylovesfood.blogspot.com/ year nine mostly

My grandfather holds so much wisdom

Grandpa: What is that contraption?
Me: A scrunchie. I would have thought you'd recognise it because of how often you accessorize while doing your hair
Grandpa: Oh yes. Every day i do a stocktake however my supply has been deteriorating recently for reasons i cannot explain *strokes bald head*

~~~

Grandpa: Excuse me GD, if you could just shift yourself over a few centimetres i don't want to be accused of interfering with your knee


i love this man in all his elderly glory

Also

Rocko's Modern Life is the greatest thing to come out of television.

New blog yo!

Basically it goes that my old blog was boring, negative and didn't contain capital letters.
So clearly a new one was necessary. Here i will document 2011 and the bound-to-be-exciting events it contains. I will also be the least pretentious-sounding as i can manage.

Enjoy and stuff!